First World Problem: An example*

I am sitting in a coffee joint, with my sweatshirt zipped up over my nose, probably setting off alarm bells in the employees that I'm about to conduct felonious activity of some kind.  Why am I doing this?

A woman who is wearing WAY too much perfume sat her ass down in the seat next to mine, and it's too crowded in here to move to another seat.  My stubborn refusal to leave has rendered me with an allergy attack and a near-immediate headache.  My "solution" is to zip my sweatshirt over my nose so I can block the sickly scent of dead flowers and baby powder, which is exactly what this woman's perfume smells like to me.

My recognition of exactly how much this is a "first world problem":
I am sitting in a ridiculously high-priced coffee store, drinking my tasty beverage, with a full belly, on a glorious day with warm temps and lovely sunshine, and the worst thing I have to bitch about is this bitch and her perfume. 

I have *nothing* to complain about, by comparison with roughly 99% of the world.

I still wish she'd leave, though.  She seems impervious to the glares of hate I am drilling into the back of her head.  I have literally considered eating or drinking something with the sole intent of producing farts, just to get her to leave.

I am so, so wrong, on so many levels.


* This post is alternatively titled, "I absolutely fucking hate your perfume, and I am consequently judging all your computer activities as stupid because your existence has given me a splitting headache and an allergy attack.  Kindly get off pinterest, get off kayak, get off The Mother's Service Society (not EVEN lying about that) and go the hell home before I asphyxiate, please."