At the gym tonight ( a WHOLE other discussion), it was suggested,
probably in jest, that I should start a blog. After carefully weighing
the idea in the time it took to consume tonight's dinner of peanut
butter straight from the jar*, like a sheep being led to slaughter, I
decided to give it a go.
My reasoning:
1. Im presently unemployed and have little else to do
2. I am occasionally able to make my friends laugh
3. ???
I know, it's a stunning victory for logical conclusions. I dunno. I
can’t really imagine anyone not personally acquainted with me who might
be entertained by my musings (most of my funniest comments are
context-specific) and I find most people’s blogs to be, at best,
self-indulgent navel gazing of the most horrifically boring sort.
Feel free to tell me that my posts are spelunking in the cave of horrifically boring navel gazing. For real.
I'll leave you with a few things I've uttered in the past 24 hours, with minimal explanation.
1. “I have dead butt and I cannot lie”(this was actually sung, a la
Sir Mixalot). I seriously do have something called “Dead Butt
Syndrome” which sounds ludicrous no matter how many times I try to take
it seriously. Apparently this means that I'm not using all the muscles
in my ass properly, specifically my glute medius. This explains, in
part, why my squat and deadlift are not increasing despite intense
effort to move the needle.
2. “I TOLD YOU ELLEN WAS A CYLON!” Talk about late to the party.
Necessary Disclosure: I have not owned a television, on purpose, since
2007 when I gave away the one I owned via Craigslist because I realized
it hadn’t been switched on since 9.11. Accordingly, I missed the whole
Battlestar Galactica series when it originally aired. Flash forward to
modern day, when Boyfriend convinces me to watch a few episodes via
Netflix. He's already seen the entire series, start to finish,
including the webisodes. (Side note: is that a fucking word,“webisode”? Too lazy to check.) I was immediately sucked in, but it
has provided much hilarity for Boyfriend to watch me get mindfucked by
all the plot twists. Today was the day that they revealed that Ellen
Tigh is one of the final five, and I have thought all along that she
was.
3. “Are you in there reading the manual?”, said in mildly accusatory
manner. I am not a fan of the RTFM policy. Let's be honest; I'm
probably going to fuck up the set up with or without the manual.
I have no idea if this blog idea will stick or not. I'll commit to
it for 30 days and see how it goes. No promises after that.
* a perennial favorite
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